so you may or may not have noticed i've been MIA for a few months now...well mostly starting when i first left Ohio back in July actually - so here's the deal

Left Ohio in July after breaking up with my fiance who was mistreating me in various ways - from there i spent some time in Missouri with my best friend and her husband who had just found out they were expecting their first :)

From there i went on to Arizona,spent about a month there,had some good times,had some bad times and in the end ended up going back to Missouri to stay with my best friend and her husband again for a lot of personal reasons and of course also the fact that she really wanted me there because,from all the children my mom has had,i know a lot about pregnancy.

i spent until the beginning of December in Missouri,quiet and at peace with myself but never really feeling i belonged there as i never made any friends outside of the house...well there was that one guy... *giggles* but that's another story ;) Around the end of November it was made known to me that both my grandma and my great-grandma's healths were failing and i decided i was needed at home,i made my plans to leave only to get a call 5 days before i was scheduled to leave that my great-grandma had died,i rushed home the next day.

i spent time in Ohio,being with my family,feeling revitalized by my time with them,i'd missed my youngest brother,my sweetie,so much.but after having been out of Ohio i couldn't let myself settle there again,especially since feelings for my ex still threatened to renew,i had made something of a close relationship with a guy from Pennsylvania online and decided to take the plunge and move to be with him and see how a relationship would work between us.

i've been living in Pennsylvania about 3 months now,things have been shaky at times and i've been quite stressed with my job search,but i'm thinking i'm going to be happy here. :) hopefully i'll be able to be around more now,i'm starting to get back into my gaming finally as well *grins*

so there's my story of the past 8 months for any who care to read!

Lol just felt the need to post about how utterly happy I am right now - just got the last piece I wanted of my dungeon 3 assasination set - I didn't want the helm,it sucks - but the 4 pieces are enough to get me my lovely set bonus :) got my shoulders,gloves,chest,and legs - so very happy  :)

Now I'm off to pvping lots of warsong and ab to get the tokens and honor I need to get my non-set epix - bracers and belt from there it's to arenas for my new weapons!

my friend created a monster when he got me my first piece of my dungeon 3 set cause now I'm on a kick to upgrade,upgrade,upgrade where before I was content with my greens now I want purples all over my screen!!! *grin*

okay well I'm going to try to go to sleep now,got work in the morning but I'm way too hyped up at the moment oh well,maybe I'll get my roommates to hit me over the head or something hehe

Well I found out that somehow won the lottery of scheduling lmao and got 4 days off in a row,on the weekend no less! Friday,Saturday,Sunday,and Monday - I'm now on Sunday of course and having a blast - Went out partying friday night with some really cool friends - stayed up late drinking,watching movies,and playing guitar hero :) saturday got up,got a new tatto (pic's up,check it out!),cleaned house,and went back out again for more drinking fun - even if I just sit on my ass playing WoW today and tomorrow I'm having a fucking kick ass weekend! :)

Think about them one at a time before going on to the next one ...

It Does Make You Feel Good, especially the thought at the end ..45.

1. Falling in love.

2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.

3. A hot shower.

4. No lines at the supermarket.

5. A special glance.

6. Getting mail.

7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.

8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.

9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.

10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.

11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).

12. A bubble bath.

13. Giggling.

14. A good conversation.

15. The beach

16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.

17. Laughing at yourself.

18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you

19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.

20. Running through sprinklers.

21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.

22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.

23. Laughing at an inside joke

24. Friends.

25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.

26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.

27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).

28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.

29 Playing with a new puppy.

30. Having someone play with your hair.

31. Sweet dreams.

32. Hot chocolate.

33. Road trips with friends.

34. Swinging on swings.

35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.

36. Making chocolate chip cookies.

37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.

38 Holding hands with someone you care about.

39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.

40. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.

41. Watching the sunrise.

42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.

43. Knowing that somebody misses you.

44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.

45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

This poem was originally directed at the Marines,I changed it for all those in the service. I have a lot of friends (loved ones) currently in service or who have been,a few who are in Iraq to this day and a few of you have expressed a fear of standing one day before God and having to justify killing for your country,so this poem just really fits. God bless you all,thank you for putting your life on the line to protect our country and our freedom even though so many just don't appreciate it.

THE FINAL INSPECTION

Been sitting here reading my book for a while now in quiet contemplation and ran across this in it...and wow...

"Understand this or you understand nothing at all! Honor is a code between men! Love has its own honor above that of war. Love lifts us to a better place, burning away the killing and cruelty. True lovers will risk everything for love. So they gain more than they lose, by becoming better than they were."

Every now and then I run across something like this in my reading and it just stops me in my tracks and leaves me breathless with so many thoughts racing through my head.So I just thought I'd share this thought provoking passage.

I wil be driving again today and tomorrow,continuing my drive to Arizona.10 hours today and 10 hours tomorrow UGH!!! Definately not looking forward to this drive...Once again,if you have my cell phone number please feel free to call at any point  and keep me company,I could REALLY,REALLY use it.I'm going to try to stop at a hotel with WiFi,but if I can't - I'll see ya'll Sunday or Monday. *hugs*

So,tomorrow is the big day - no more procrastinating,my car is packed and I'm ready to go. I'm still so nervous,I've never driven farther than abouut 2 hours away by myself.I'm afraid I'll get lost or get so bored I fall asleep at the wheel.Unless the hotel I stop at has internet access I won't be around until sunday evening,if then - could be as late as monday or tuesday depending on several factors.Some of you have my phone number,please feel free to call me,I could use the "company"!!!

This:

You answered 9 items out of 10 Yes.

Your score is 90%. You are a natural born empath.

Led to this:

What Kind of Empath Are You?

You scored as a Judge

You are a Judge Empath, one who is a "truthsayer". You can tell truth from lies, good from evil. You do not tolerate wrong doing. You are a defender of the good and the innocent. You are kind and merciful but do not play foolish games.

Judge 90% Healer 85% Universal 80% Artist 70% Precog 70% Shaman 55% Fallen Angel 55% Traveler 45%

quizfarm.com/test.php

So I'm going to be moving out of Ohio in just a few days here...I know that for a fact - there's a lot of reasons I'm leaving Ohio,most of which are private,but one reason is that I just need to get away from my past and start fresh.

The only question mark now is where I am going...I appear to have my pick of locations with a few close friends and I am completely torn as to what to do,where to go,and why.It's been made known to me that there's about three different states I'd be welcome in.

One happens to be a 6 hour drive and hasn't  been under much consideration other than knowing it's an option.

Another is about a 13 hour drive and I'd be living with my best friend and her husband,they're both excited at the prospect but knowing the area has a population that barely hits 4,000 worries me for job prospects and in my heart I know it's not where I WANT to be.

The third option is where I'm feeling the most powerful draw.It's roughly a 31 hour drive across the country and it's where I really want to be right now more than anything,but it presents its own sets of very hard problems to face and those problems scare me.

I had a good friend tell me recently that she was struck by how strong she felt I was and couldn't believe that something in my life was actually strong enough that I felt vulnerable,but I do and I hate feeling vulnerable.My heart and my head are in agreement that this is where I want to be - it's close to a major city so a job won't be an issue and I think I could really start a good life there...but at the same time another part of me is just so terrified at my thoughts of "what if" and "when".

So I don't think I'm really asking for advice here,although please feel free to express your thoughts - I'm more of just hoping that maybe this will help in my thought process and decision making to get this all written out in black and white.Right now I'm still as torn as ever...everything going on in my life right now has me split two ways it seems.Instead of the coin flipping from one side to the other it's just spinning 'round and 'round and it's definitely got me feeling dizzy.Excuse the philosophical moment if you will,it's past 2am here and I should've been to bed quite a while ago.